Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Pagan Insights #7

I'm supposed to do these at every full moon. "I'll do it tomorrow", etc etc. So here we are at - so my phone app informs me - 63% waning gibbous and I haven't written one up yet. Oh well. All things in their time, I suppose.

In Your Own Words
Time gets away from me. It's "Old Year's Night" sometime next week. I have it on my calendar.... the 5th. I don't know when I'll hold Winternights. I feel like I only just finished Winterfinding. I do always like touching base with Lady Hel, but right now I don't have anything to give Her. 

I'm still moving forward with my practice slowly. It's taking time to get back into things, and I don't want to rush it and then have a freak-out or something. I'm enjoying incorporating the spiritual back into my life gradually, without putting pressure on myself.

There's also that sensation, occasionally, of newness, of that thrill and enthusiasm I had when I was fairly new and ignorant. The person you were Back When, who pressed her nose against the magic shop window and coveted a simple silver pentacle, who saved up for Cunningham books and wrote out chapters verbatim in an exercise book of shadows. I'll never get that back, not in the same way, but off and on I've been feeling a little of that energy again. Maybe it's just nostalgia.

Post a Pic
This month a link to a picture. This one is from Deviant Art. I blogged it on my tumblr, and within a day it had 200 notes. It's now at over 700. I'm not sure why it appeals to people so much. But it's an image I keep thinking about just because of all those notes (why don't all my posts get that many notes??) and it's evocative. What does it make me think about? trad craft, but not really mine. I'd be sitting, cross-legged, probably in any old clothing, maybe building a cairn in front of me or drawing pictures in the leaf litter with a stick.

Musical Musings
I've been lax in my meditation, as always, but I try to find time in the day. I've been heading over to Pandora and trying out their "ambient" radio station. I like some songs better than others, and not all to meditate to, but it's good to have a go-to for meditation music when I'm in the mood. 

Action, Action
I've been keeping up my daily prayer, for the most part. It's adding a sort of structure and stability to my daily life, and a richness, even though it only takes a moment. It weaves the gods into my every day. I like having more of an option as to Who to pray to each day; I've only been at it a couple of weeks, but the option of greeting the same deity every week or exploring other deities with links to that god is quite interesting and I think adds more of a richness to the activity. Last time I kept to the same god every night, and grew bored pretty quickly. This way I can reach out to or thank gods Whose influence I am feeling or Whose blessing I am seeking. 

I am finding the daily worship, however minor it may be, personally beneficial on many levels. I think - though I could be wrongly attributing this - that it's proving helpful to my anxiety recovery. I feel loved, I feel warm, I feel comforted. I also feel more of a sense of direction and guidance, as if I was flailing around loose and have been tied back down.

This relates to the previous - the reminder that daily prayer, while it may take a while to have a noticeable effect, can influence one's life. Both the boring prayers where you feel nothing much, to the ones that take you up with something approaching ecstasy, and you raise your arms and cry out in passion and wonder, and give you a new take on the gods. 

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