So, we've all been exposed lately to Santorum and other politicians with their "foetuses are people, women aren't" sexism horrorshow. This is shocking, and awful, but has been less irritating to me lately than a person I've made the acquaintance of via Twitter.
This isn't about this person in particular, but the attitude they espouse towards women. I mean, Santorum and co. must know that they don't respect women. This person thinks he does. He thinks women are awesome. But he's also a patronising dickhole about it.
I tried to ignore it at first, thinking the first time I was offended by something he said that it was just me over-reacting. I told myself to lighten up. But his "aren't women beautiful" crap doesn't stop. It's fine if you like Madmen - it's a pretty good show - but please remember that their attitudes to women back then were archaic and offensive.
It started with the phrase "frag doll" to apply to women gamers. I am a gamer, and also a woman. I enjoy video games. And while the term "frag doll" is adorable... well, that's the problem. It's adorable, and it is patronising as fuck.
The concept of "how to treat a woman" is out of date. You treat women the same way you treat men: as equals, and with respect. Believe it or not, you can go wrong by telling a woman she's beautiful, especially if you're actually trying to tell her she's amazing. She may be amazing. So tell her she's amazing, not that she's physically attractive. If you think she's beautiful, tell her she's beautiful. Don't confuse these two things as if being an amazing person and being beautiful are the same. Because funnily enough a woman is more than just her physical appearance.
You know how, depending on context, guys don't like to be called "cute" because they'd rather be hot than adorable? Same applies to women. When you say "geek girls are cute", please make it clear whether you mean "hot" or "adorable". One is true, the other might get you punched in the scrotum for being a patronising dickhole.
Go ahead and make "lol women" jokes, menfolk. We know that, for the most part, you are in fact just joking and don't mean it. It's cool, man, go for it. Some of 'em are funny. If nothing else I'll laugh at your gall. Likewise I will feel free to make dick jokes, and we can all laugh at the perceived idiosyncrasies of our genders. It's when you actually mean those jokes that it's a problem. Unless I get the impression otherwise, I will assume you don't mean them.
On the other side of things, don't treat womenfolk like we're some magical beings sent to bless you with our vaginas. Just treat us like people. We're human. You're human. Let's all acknowledge that we're all humans and move on. You don't need a special vocabulary to converse with us. You don't need to constantly shower us with compliments for us to think you like us. We don't need to be treated with kid gloves lest we kill ourselves. You're not "taking advantage" if we've had a couple of glasses of wine and want to fuck. And seriously, if you think you "know how to treat women"... you probably don't.