Thursday, March 21, 2013


First post in ages! To be honest I feel anxious even sitting down to type to you all. I know I shouldn't because you're all so good to me, but I do anyway. Things aren't easy and it's a long, slow process, even with the medication which is working really well for me. 

I skipped ritual in February, because things were so up in the air emotionally, but now things are settled a bit more I thought it was time to get back into things. I held my Equinox ritual last night, and it went very well. Maybe not as well as some rituals have gone in the past, but it was easier than I thought it would be to feel the old sensation of ritual, the anticipation getting out all the bits and pieces, and so on.

And I have photos! Here's my altar:

And with candles lit:


In many ways I feel like getting back into and more immersed in my religions, in studying and actively practising, may help me. Meditation helps my anxiety, but only to a point. I wish I had more structure to the practise of meditation, to give me more reason to go back to it. I have been picking up books on Paganism and Witchcraft a little more often, and feeling very positive about reading them, instead of like a failure which has been my general feeling recently. 

Also, I wanted to share a personal impression about my Goddess. My Goddess may or may not be your Goddess, or similar to your Goddess, but at any rate I enjoy reading when other people share their experiences with their deities and I wanted to share one of mine. This ritual was for my religious Hedgecraft, not Heathenry - that one is more based on the weather, and I'll it hold on the first cold day. So I spoke, in ritual, to and of my Goddess and in doing so pictured Her. I intended to picture Her in a dress of autumn leaves, but instead the image I received was of a naked figure in a forest: petite and strong, smeared with dirt, one hand on the trunk of a tree, stepping with splayed toes over some roots and into the rich mulch of leaf litter. This is my Goddess, and sometimes I forget Her nature, and try to picture a beautiful tall woman in a shining dress. I forget that my Goddess has twigs in Her hair and callouses on Her feet.
I think I'll be posting more often. It's the Full Moon soon and I intend to do another of those "Pagan Insights"
 posts (I've saved one of my altar photos for it!).

Thanks for your continuing patience and support! They mean a great deal.