Thursday, March 21, 2013


First post in ages! To be honest I feel anxious even sitting down to type to you all. I know I shouldn't because you're all so good to me, but I do anyway. Things aren't easy and it's a long, slow process, even with the medication which is working really well for me. 

I skipped ritual in February, because things were so up in the air emotionally, but now things are settled a bit more I thought it was time to get back into things. I held my Equinox ritual last night, and it went very well. Maybe not as well as some rituals have gone in the past, but it was easier than I thought it would be to feel the old sensation of ritual, the anticipation getting out all the bits and pieces, and so on.

And I have photos! Here's my altar:

And with candles lit:


In many ways I feel like getting back into and more immersed in my religions, in studying and actively practising, may help me. Meditation helps my anxiety, but only to a point. I wish I had more structure to the practise of meditation, to give me more reason to go back to it. I have been picking up books on Paganism and Witchcraft a little more often, and feeling very positive about reading them, instead of like a failure which has been my general feeling recently. 

Also, I wanted to share a personal impression about my Goddess. My Goddess may or may not be your Goddess, or similar to your Goddess, but at any rate I enjoy reading when other people share their experiences with their deities and I wanted to share one of mine. This ritual was for my religious Hedgecraft, not Heathenry - that one is more based on the weather, and I'll it hold on the first cold day. So I spoke, in ritual, to and of my Goddess and in doing so pictured Her. I intended to picture Her in a dress of autumn leaves, but instead the image I received was of a naked figure in a forest: petite and strong, smeared with dirt, one hand on the trunk of a tree, stepping with splayed toes over some roots and into the rich mulch of leaf litter. This is my Goddess, and sometimes I forget Her nature, and try to picture a beautiful tall woman in a shining dress. I forget that my Goddess has twigs in Her hair and callouses on Her feet.
I think I'll be posting more often. It's the Full Moon soon and I intend to do another of those "Pagan Insights"
 posts (I've saved one of my altar photos for it!).

Thanks for your continuing patience and support! They mean a great deal.

1 comment:

  1. I managed meditation, but since I am not one naturally inclined to ritual it's always difficult for me to come up with something for myself. Which means one of my unofficial plans for this year is to start coming up with more solo rituals to perform.